The Retreat That Changed Everything: Stepping Into My Body and Mind

My friend must've been able to tell I was exhausted. He told me 'don't film this one, I want you to participate.' So I did. That breathwork session was so much more than a somatic practise.

I put my phone down in the corner of the room. I took in my surroundings. I was reminded of how it felt to just be. Totally and utterly myself. I prepared myself to settle into a practise where I felt completely safe and able to relax.

I went deep into my body and mind. I saw blue light, a clear representation of the work I had been spending so much time and energy forcing. Suddenly, I saw flames, fire, destruction, almost a hellscape. Then it went black. Next, imagery of a lush, green, dewy rainforest appeared. It felt like there was a choice, and it was perfectly laid out in front of me.

Then I came out of it. I had tears streaming down my face. I knew deep in my body that my current ways of being were not serving me. I wrapped my arms around my body. Hugging myself. Telling myself that everything would be okay. That I would soon find the right path. Make the right choice.

After leaving the retreat, I sat with myself for a few days. I felt physically unwell each time I tried to work on any projects. 'This is it' I told myself. I knew I had to make a decision. So, one by one, I called up my clients and told them I could no longer work for them.

I had no idea what was coming. But for the first time in as long as I could remember, I actually trusted that.